Here we are, nine whole days into a brand new year, and I don’t think I’d be the only one who’s ready to call a do-over. This has been one long, weird week.
Does it seem to anyone else like we’re living in an M. Night Shyamalan movie? I keep waiting for the twist ending.
I mean, look at the evidence: 3,000 blackbirds fall out of the sky in Arkansas after apparently flying themselves to death; another 500 plummet to the earth in Louisiana. Hundreds more fall in Kentucky, 100 in New Zealand, 50 in Sweden.
Is it a “Happening”? Are the trees making them suicidal? Are they smacking into invisible spaceships? Is this one of the “Signs”? Have they run afoul of “The Last Airbender”?
Scientists say not to worry, that this kind of thing happens all the time. (Such as the mass whale stranding in New Zealand, fish kill off New Jersey and penguin die-off in Brazil, all last year.) Experts blame cold weather — or in the case of the Arkansas blackbird massacre, fireworks, maybe.
Meanwhile, two million dead fish float in Chesapeake Bay; 40,000 dead crabs wash up in England; a fish kill in Brazil is estimated at 100 tons — all in the last week or so. Is it the fault of “The Lady in the Water”?
It’s enough to make you consider reading (or re-reading) the book of Revelation. A learned friend assures me there’s nothing in there about birds falling from the sky, but with all the visions in there you just never know.
Not all of the weird the news is bad, however. In a Georgian village, a two-headed calf is born and becomes an instant TV star. And in New York City, a man jumps from a ninth-story window and survives by landing — no, not on a two-headed calf from “The Village” — in a giant pile of garbage. Is it possible he’s actually “Unbreakable”?
On second thought, maybe the fact that I didn’t have to make any of this up bodes well for the news business in 2011. It’s just going to be another typically strange new year. I have a “Sixth Sense” about it.
Peace .
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