Writers' Jargon (10)

Writers have their own language. A shorthand, if you will. Outsiders (non-writers) think they know what most of these words and phrases mean. But they don't. Here, in a continuing series of posts, I will divulge the SECRET MEANINGS OF WRITERS' JARGON:

Hero’s Journey: (cartographic term) The shortest route to the nearest sandwich shop.

Proposal: (verb) technique employed by non-fiction writers to trick a gainfully-employed partner into marriage when you have no prospects for other income; also used to convince publishers your idea for a book is worth funding. In either case, it’s a pay-for-play agreement.

Editor: (noun) Heart-breaker. Dream-maker. Love-taker. Don’t you mess around with me.

>>Earlier entries in the series<<

Writers' Jargon (9): Archetype, antagonist, protagonist

Writers have their own language. A shorthand, if you will. Outsiders (non-writers) think they know what most of these words and phrases mean. But they don't. Here, in a continuing series of posts, I will divulge the SECRET MEANINGS OF WRITERS' JARGON:

>>Earlier entries in the series<<

Archetype: (noun) What you prefer your characters to be recognized as rather than “cliché.”

Antagonist: (noun) The kid with the magnifying glass, focusing sunlight on ants.

Protagonist: (noun) The agony of the proletariat.

To be continued...

Writer's Jargon: Freelance,Galley,Ghost Writer & Gutter

Writers have their own language. A shorthand, if you will. Outsiders (non-writers) think they know what most of these words and phrases mean. But they don't. Here, in a continuing series of posts, I will divulge the SECRET MEANINGS OF WRITERS' JARGON:

Freelance: (verb) The act of starving to death (or dying from lack of health insurance) while maintaining your own business.

Galley: (noun) Where you sit in your chains and row the boat. Also known as a “proof,” as in, “Here’s proof of your misery.”

Ghost writer: (noun) What you will be when you die of freelancing.

Gutter: (noun) Where they’ll find your body.

...to be continued...

Writers' Jargon (7)

Writers have their own language. A shorthand, if you will. Outsiders (non-writers) think they know what most of these words and phrases mean. But they don't. Here, in a continuing series of posts, I will divulge the SECRET MEANINGS OF WRITERS' JARGON.

Synopsis: (thought experiment) If you could have told the story in a couple of pages, you wouldn’t have spent years writing 90,000 words.

Exposition: (legal term) The position your ex-spouse takes when suing for half of the earnings from the book you finally published after she/he left, citing emotional, financial and other forms of support during your years of work on the manuscript.

Preface: (noun) The youthful, hopeful, unlined features a writer puts forward before beginning work, as compared to the old, tired, bitter, wrinkled face he ends up with.

...to be continued ...

Writers' Jargon (6): The Guest Edition

Writers have their own language. A shorthand, if you will. Outsiders (non-writers) think they know what most of these words and phrases mean. But they don't. Here, in a continuing series of posts, I will divulge the SECRET MEANINGS OF WRITERS' JARGON.

Since this expose' began, some of my writerly friends have suggested some secret meanings from their own private stash, and here they are:

Hero's Journey: the delusion that as a writer, you're following some mythic path that will make you a more complete person. (Thanks to Mark Boss)

Purple Prose: the words you use to describe an idiotic book critic and their questionable ancestry. (Also from Mark Boss)


Beta Reader: a friend who hasn't opened a novel since high school that you rope into reading your un-edited, 300,000-word rip off of James Joyce. (Mark Boss)

Writer's vocation:  lifelong; unpaid; computer keyboard skills required. (Thanks to Marty Sirmons)

...to be continued ...

Writers' Jargon (5)

Writers have their own language. A shorthand, if you will. Outsiders (non-writers) think they know what most of these words and phrases mean. But they don't. Here, in a continuing series of posts, I will divulge the SECRET MEANINGS OF WRITERS' JARGON.

Orphan: (noun) What your kids feel like because you’re always writing or reading or editing. (Similar to, but not to be confused with, “widow.”)

Inciting Incident: (noun) Traumatizing event, usually occurring in childhood, that caused the emotional/neurological damage sufficient to make you think you could be a writer.

Pen Name: (Proper noun) What you call your favorite pen. I call mine “Lovely,” but then I was probably dropped on my head as a kid. (Not to be confused with “pseudonym.”)

... to be continued ...

Writers Jargon (4)

Writers have their own language. A shorthand, if you will. Outsiders (non-writers) think they know what most of these words and phrases mean. But they don't. Here, in a continuing series of posts, I will divulge the SECRET MEANINGS OF WRITERS' JARGON.

Interlude: (noun) The portion of the story that gets inserted between doses of ’ludes. Tends to give the other portions some clarity, explore backstory (see "backstory").

Plot: (noun) Where characters are buried when they die.

Backstory: (noun) The stuff only the writer knows about the situation and characters, often inserted into the narrative because he can’t figure out where the story should meander next. (See “Interlude.”)

...to be continued...

Writers Jargon (3)

Writers have their own language. A shorthand, if you will. Outsiders (non-writers) think they know what most of these words and phrases mean. But they don't. Here, in a continuing series of posts, I will divulge the SECRET MEANINGS OF WRITERS' JARGON.

Vanity Press: (noun) The coffee press you use to make your own special blend, and yet no one takes your coffee seriously.

Prologue: (noun) The log a person should be beaten with when he decides to write for a living. (Not to be confused with “prelude.”)

Prelude: (noun) The portion of the story you write before the ’ludes kick in. (Not to be confused with “prologue.”)

Writers Jargon (2)

Writers have their own language. A shorthand, if you will. Outsiders (non-writers) think they know what most of these words and phrases mean. But they don't. Here, in a continuing series of posts, I will divulge the SECRET MEANINGS OF WRITERS' JARGON.

Imprint: (noun) The mark left on your forehead after you slam your face into your desk in frustration.

Submission: (verb) Admitting you can’t perfect your manuscript, and sending it to publishers so they can confirm its imperfections.

Climax: (noun) The sensation you feel when you successfully complete a story.

Epilogue: The log a writer uses to beat a dead horse.

Writers Jargon

Writers have their own language. A shorthand, if you will. Outsiders (non-writers) think they know what most of these words and phrases mean. But they don't.

Here, for the first time, I will divulge the SECRET MEANINGS OF WRITERS' JARGON. This is, as you might imagine, the first in an ongoing series of posts -- that is, if some writers' conspiracy group (aka "book club") doesn't get to me first.

Character Arc: (geometry) Curve defined by how high and distant you toss your laptop when you realize you're writing the story from the wrong character's point of view.

Dialogue: (noun) The log I beat my characters with until they start talking.

Foreshadowing: (verb) The act of going back to an earlier point in your manuscript to drop in a clue about something you just realized while writing the last chapter.